I know this is an emotionally charged subject, but nevertheless, a discussion about your personal finances it is a vitally important one to have. Are you financially independent? I know - I can hear you laughing. But this is serious -- can you pay your bills this month? Have you set up your retirement plan?

Some women think that someone else in their lives will take care of their financial needs as they age, but clearly, that's not always the case. Women need to be personally responsible in the creation of their financial arrangements. If you don't have a retirement plan in place, there is no time like the present to get one started. Remember..as wonderful as they can be, a man is not a plan! Whether you're married or single, whether you're a stay-at-home mom, or if you work multiple jobs, planning for a comfortable retirement is a vital activity that begs your attention.

Don't know what to do? Here are some pointers to get you started.

1. Start a savings account, and save as much per month as you can.

2. Open an IRA or 401(k). If your employer doesn't have a 401 (k) program, lobby them to change their policies.

3. Seek the advice of a financial advisor.

4. Create an investment strategy that works for you. One example, is Freed Funds - a fund that can simplify your retirements investments.

Check out Women's Finance for more suggestions, and get started on your retirement plan now.

Discovering how to express yourself can have be a life-long learning curve. How are you doing so far? How are you expressing your self-worth? Are you going after your goals? How would you make your life better? Do you go along with everyone else's plans, or can you muster up the gumption to chart your own course? 

Use the following guide as an exercise to help you frame your goals, and start expressing your self today. Make a commitment to yourself.

Each day I will:

• Be grateful for what I have, and show kindness to others.
• Do something that makes me feel good.
• Express myself, and share what I know.

Every week I will:

• Take myself on a special outing.
• Get sufficient exercise, indoors and out.
• Do something fun with my husband/partner, and my children.

Every month I will:

• Go over my finances, and set priorities.
• Give of my time, talent or treasure to a charitable organization.
• Stretch my mind by learning something new.

Every year I will:

• Be proud of the person I am.
• Save money in a retirement fund.
• Evaluate my vocation choice and set goals for the future.

Every minute I will appreciate myself for who I am. 

Ever hear the phrase, barefoot and pregnant? Clearly it wasn't spawned from current pop culture.  Though this artifact of generations past was probably meant to be endearing, the subtext behind it seems to have more to do with territory and boasting rights than terms of endearment. By keeping a woman barefoot and pregnant, a man was not only staking his claim on her as his territory, but was also bragging that his penis worked and his seeds were lively and strong.

Men have historically been territorial where their women, sex and children are concerned and we women have come to accept this behavior, and to a certain degree, foster it. In fact, we seem willing to jump through all kinds of hoops to attract a man.

Throughout recorded history, women have learned to take the male's particular fancies into account when seeking a mate with whom to have children.  Current fashions, style and cultural rituals typically dictate how women behave.  Making ourselves attractive to the opposite sex isn't new. Each generation and every culture adds new moves and brings a slightly different flair to the male-female mating dance.

It's generally accepted, for example, that men like long legs and so we wear high-healed shoes and short dresses to show them off. Why? We instinctually want to perpetuate humankind.  Some studies show that women will wear shorter dresses and higher heels when ovulating - we dress more provocatively during specific days of our menstrual cycles because we are consciously or unconsciously trying to attract a mate.  Just for fun, notice what you wear between the 14^th and 18^th days after your period.  Perhaps more telling, check out what your teenaged daughters wear on those days. Oh my - Perhaps it's a good time to discuss birth control.

Another known turn-on for men is a high, rounded, voluptuous butt.  Add that to a narrow waistline, and you get the classic hourglass figure. This so-called perfect figure has a ratio of 70 percent. Such a figure - the narrow waist, flat abdomen, large, round, easy-to-grasp fanny historically signaled 'fertility' to the male species. Women became aware of this particular male lure and went to incredible lengths to draw attention to their curves.

In the nineteenth century, women wore bustles under their skirts to accentuate the size of their hips.  Was this comfortable do you think? Hell no, but what does comfort have to do with it? Our female predecessors strapped on torturous corsets to reduce their waist size to make the distinction between waist and hip even more obvious and alluring. Women of that era cinched their waistlines to the point of damaging their rib cages - going as far as surgically removing ribs to achieve that perfectly narrow waist.

Ohmygod. The corset squeezed their organs and restricted their oxygen intake and turned fainting into a gender-oriented pastime.  According to studies on the subject, this ratio has consistently proven to grab a male's attention.  So much so, in fact, that throughout history it was thought that a woman most capable of bearing children had a waist that was 70 percent smaller than her hips. Not surprisingly, the ideal waist size for a girl in the nineteenth century was one that matched her age.  Could this have been a trigger for an eating disorder? Hmm.  And all of this to attract a man.

Another feature of women thought to be highly attractive, is a long neck; this stunning attribute is so prized that we adorn them with jewels to show them off. Japanese Geishas painted their necks in white body paint, leaving only a small, seductively bare patch of skin showing at the nape, which at the time of Geishas was considered highly erotic, and could bring a man to his knees - and encourage a hefty payment.

The attraction to long necks is so pronounced in some Southern and East African tribes that girls begin to elongate their necks with silver rings as youngsters, eventually stretching the neck completely out of proportion, ultimately deforming the collarbone, and of course, the neck. These women can never take the rings off, for if removed, the elongated, deformed neck could not possibly support the weight of their heads, and their necks would break.  A high price to pay for attraction.

Though we may not universally follow their lead, our culture's glossy magazine pages are filled with beautiful, young, painfully skinny models who promote skeletal thinness, body piercing, tattoos and sexy body wear - all of which is, essentially, this generation's iteration of male bait; Beauty chasing the beast. 

Though some of our current come-hither trends are quirky, when I read about rituals that women of other cultures engage in to hedge their bets in the mating game, I think we of the westernized persuasion basically have it easy.  Lucky for me my guy is a leg man.  I can handle high heels.

What guys need to do to attract us is a whole different conversation.

All the women I know accept the idea that education is vital, and in fact consider it fundamental to our growth.  An education is freedom; a vehicle that can help us reach our fullest potential in life. This concept isn't new. As parents, we've been pitching the idea of education to our kids as the answer since they were in diapers.  

However, though education is sought and schools are attended in great numbers by all girls who get the chance, are they landing the top jobs? Are girls and women equally represented in power positions based on percentage of population? Nope. So what are girls going to do with all this hard-won knowledge and education if our society doesn't allow them access to the highest-level careers, power board seats and corporate positions?

Oh, I know -- we do have many notable women in power positions. We have a female Secretary of State, a woman Speaker of the House, and an extremely notable woman just made a run for the Democratic Presidential nominee.  However, the actual numbers of women in top-level positions is still far below par with men. 

This apparent mixed message may be contributing to the fact that with all the possibilities seemingly on our plates and with all our legitimate potential, women still venture into the same fields that we have always historically dominated; 59 percent of all women workers are still concentrated in sales, clerical, and service positions. Either the majority of us don't realize there are other career options, or we don't believe we can vie for them.

Though we're loathe to admit it, the socialization of girls and women is still pretty much based on outdated schemas and norms. We're raised to assume, from an early age, usually by about 6 to 8 years old, that there are gender-specific roles we should play; a hierarchy of power; a norm or generalized set of behaviors and cultural rituals that we should perform. We've been bucking these boundaries for centuries, yet as a group, we continue to pursue the tried and true. 

Though there is no single answer to resolve this conundrum, perhaps education is still the key. Studies show that girls make up 57 percent of all college students in the United States. Perhaps the sea change will come when these young women cross society's unwritten boundaries and choose careers that fall outside of the norm.

The White House Project has partnered with O, The Oprah Magazine, and American Express, on a three day women's leadership training program to be held the weekend of June 20-22.   Though the application process is now closed, this venture should spark interest of us all; good things are sure to come from it.  Vote, Run, Lead are strong words, and are used often to challenge us; rightly so.  We need to focus our energy in a proactive way to bring about the changes society desperately needs.  And women need to lead the way.

The White House Project is a nonpartisan, nonprofit organization that aspires to advance women's leadership in all communities and sectors - even up to the United States Presidency. Closing the Leadership Gap, written by the White House Project's founder and President, Marie Wilson, details how to become equipped, inspired and informed to lead a political life. Are you up to this? Want to help? Visit the White House Project website and be inspired!

The responsibility for the cleaning and maintaining of our homes generally falls within a woman's purview, whether we do it ourselves, or hire or delegate someone else to do it.  Now, in addition to maintaining them, we're taking that responsibility even farther to encompass home improvement, home purchasing, and home renovation.  Women are flexing their formidable organizational and design muscles to get their needs met.  Rather than wait for our men to fix our toilets, patch our walls, and re-model our kitchens to suit our specific desires, we're doing it ourselves. Women are influencing home design and buying tools too.  In 2004, we bought 47% of all painting supplies, and nearly half of all new bathtubs.  Women now outspend men $55 billion to $41 billion at Best Buy -- a consumer electronics retailer that historically sold its products to boys and men.  And by the way, whether we're in charge of the purse or not, we're influencing 90% of the total purchases a family makes.  Excuse me for noticing, but that figure represents significant buying power.  In many domains, we're shattering old taboos about what we can or should be able or allowed to do, i.e., wield a hammer, purchase dry-wall, and handle a mortgage.  Did Atlas blink perchance?  Maybe, but this trend hasn't gone unnoticed.  More and more companies in the United States and elsewhere are waking up to the fact that if they overlook women, they do so at their own financial peril.  Women have also taken charge of the 'family vacation,' and make 70 percent of the travel decisions for their families, suggesting the necessity of a whole new business model for the tourism industry.  Based on the loud and clear earning and spending message women are sending, companies are reaching out to an increasingly female-centric consumer base that has more financial muscle and purchasing independence than ever before.  Good.  Let them woo us.  We're here, we're strong, and we're gaining power.  If we continue in our current trajectory, we'll earn more money than men by 2028;  we'll have accomplished the unimaginable, and cut a substantial wedge from the Mother Lode.  That's a prediction worth saluting.  Now -- what are we going to do with this new power?  Good question.  The answer is simple.  We're going to change the world.   

What is a woman's worth? Is it synonymous with value? Who defines it? Is it a tangible thing? Are we born into it, marry into it, or do we earn it? I'm writing a book about women, and consequently this subject has taken up so much of my waking thought, that I practically see the question lurking behind everything I do and say. In researching this subject, I've had an opportunity to view women from many angles, perspectives, cultures, time zones and eras. A general round-up of what defines us as women reveals, not surprisingly, that women are the traditional nurturers, the connection-makers, the socializers, and the soothers.

Are we defined by motherhood? Perhaps -- parenting of the young is still considered a predominately woman's domain and duty, and how the kids turn out can be a direct reflection on us. Very often, the first question we're asked in conversation is, "How are your kids?" If the kids are not well - we take on the blame. As the mother of four - I spend a great deal of my time wondering if what I have done in life has been worthwhile, particularly as far as my children are concerned. People say, "If your children are happy and healthy, then you are happy too." What an understatement.Are we defined by our careers? Though 60% of women in the U.S. are in the workforce, relatively few are in high-level jobs. The top five occupations of working women, according to the U.S. Department of Labor, are secretary, teacher, nurse, health aid, and cashier, and the median income is $552 per week.

Are we valued for the efforts we expend? Globally, women perform 66% of the world's work, but receive only 11% of the world's income. There are 6 million more women than men in the world, but we own less than 1% of the world's land. In addition to out-of-home jobs and careers, women are double-shifters, meaning they come home to an additional workload of domestic and house management duties

Do we have access to education? Women account for 55% of all college students in the U.S., but make up 66% of the world's illiterate adults. In many countries, principally the economically challenged, under-developed, and developing countries -- girls and women's access to education is expensive, difficult to obtain, and infrequent, at best.

These various statistics speak to us in broad strokes, of course, merely adding a bit of color to a portrait of women that is extremely nuanced. A woman's worth is undeniable, yet our sense of self-esteem, self-respect, and self-efficacy seems to fluctuate and waiver. Women consistently seek approval from others in order to adjust our self-esteem meter, which is understandable given that we continue to face inconsistencies in our lives that make us question ourselves, i.e., equity in pay scale, balance of work and family, value or lack-of placed on our unpaid labors. We worry about our worth, ability, value, stature, physical appearance, and often base our assumptions about ourselves - even to the point of establishing our identity -- on the opinions of others.

In a world that still functions with a predominately male-oriented mind-set, which uses a louder, and more aggressive voice, women are grappling with a difficulty being assertive - particularly as it applies to negotiating better deals for ourselves. Rather than ramping up our gumption and raising our own voices, we often choose, by default, not to vocalize at all. Consider our dismal voting record.

That a woman's worth is inviolate should be the beginning, middle and end of our story. However, in many life domains, and in various cultures and societies, a woman's worth is stratified according to stereotypes and rituals - the residue of history. Enough. It's time for us as humans to grow up. Female, male -- both genders are equally needed, and both are equally worthy. Women are highly capable of changing the status quo. To do so, however, we'll need to apply our formidable talents to this task, and raise our voices with at least the same tenacity and fervor as our male counterparts. Women make up the majority of educators; let's use that power to teach young girls to be assertive, resilient, independent and responsible.

We want our daughters as well as our sons, to face challenges - to learn about the world, to experience life, to work hard, to find love, to be healthy, to be paid an equitable wage, to be awed by nature, and to seek fulfillment. But they shouldn't have to wonder what they're worth.

These days, with all our communication devices, blackberries, blue-tooth phones, and other gadgets, we get to hear what everybody else is doing, even if we don't want to. Instant communication is ubiquitous in our society - it's getting hard to remember a time when we were unreachable. There are few people in our circle of friends, for example, that don't carry a cell phone and/or a blackberry - and fewer still who mute their phones, or don't answer them, or resist the urge to take them out to check messages, while they're in your company.

In the very recent past, when a lunch or dinner guest would get on his or her cell phone or answer emails while we were in the middle of a meal - I'd think, (but not verbalize) "Hey - if that other person is so darned important, why don't you just go have lunch with her?!" But alas, I've long ago gotten over the idea that it's rude - which I think it is, and have come to accept it as progress. The convenience of being on call, and able to communicate, and continue making important business decisions 24/7 probably far outweighs the annoyance of having your casual conversations interrupted, your thoughts interrupted, your dinners and lunches interrupted, your life interrupted...by being subjected to half of someone else's phone call.

I've become so used to hearing snippets of stranger's conversations everywhere I go that they've almost blurred into white noise that I can choose not to overhear. That's why the following experience is so unique. I took a recess from my writing to go shopping. I went alone - it was to be a quick trip to the store with the express goal of acquiring a pair of jeans. That alone is a subject onto itself - jeans are a tricky matter - especially jeans that fit. They can be slim, or boot style, they can be stretch, or not - they can be low-rise or otherwise - but you still have to try them on to make sure they fit and look good, because it's tough to count on your size being standard across styles and designers. So, there I was in a dressing room, by myself, with several pairs of jeans - cussing silently to myself about the weight I must have recently gained, and the fact that the manufacturer's sizing chart was off, and other little petty complaints.

As I was struggling to pull on a pair of skin-tight jeans, I couldn't help but overhear the conversation in the dressing room next to me. And it wasn't just a one-sided conversation! The banter between the two occupants in the adjacent space actually made me smile - and in fact at times I had to stifle a laugh. Two women were trying on clothes, and talking loud. Though I attempted to stay in my own experience, theirs overwhelmingly slipped into mine, like water under my dressing room door. First they were complaining about the sizes of the clothes -- how the designers must have been smoking something when they sized the outfits. Then they started admitting they probably needed to lose some weight, and went on to rant about how they had attempted to lose that weight in the past, and what foods they'd had to give up. It was personal stuff-- full disclosure! And there I was - hanging on every word. The conversation then segued into the foods they loved, and how to prepare them. I was all ears. Their enthusiasm became almost orgasmic with descriptions of ingredients, aromas, and delicious, mouth-watering, methods for getting the recipe just right. I was intrigued, and beginning to salivate. While they tried on clothes, laughing, and complaining, they shared their secrets about how to cook savory dishes and where to buy special ingredients for them. Though I continued to try on jeans, I was totally absorbed by the women in the cubical next to me; listening intently - like a schoolgirl being dished juicy gossip.

I suddenly felt like a voyeur. I slunk out of my dressing room with a pair of jeans in a size that may not have met my expectations - but the adventure of shopping certainly had. I was grinning -- amazed at how this interchange had affected me. I'd actually overheard a nearly complete conversation that included two people. My God, it was almost weird, and kind of retro. I've become accustomed to being privy to lots of details about lots of people I don't know, and have learned to tune it out. It's the norm to listen to half of a conversation - to observe individuals with wires dangling from their ears talking to absent interlocutors. It has become common place to witness people in restaurants, subways, alone in their cars, and on crowded sidewalks, having full-blown, animated conversations with invisible counterparts. But something about overhearing two friends enjoy each other's company, laughing and joking about the regular stuff of life -- their weight, diets, and culinary prowess, made me feel really good.

I know - this is silliness personified. But what the hell. With all the other insane madness we're coping with today - this little moment in time was like music to my ears. It was a reminder that with all the changes we go through in life, all the adaptations we make - despite all the conveniences of short-cuts and time-saving devices -- there are some things that remain the same. Friendships are important, and enjoying the company of friends - face to face -- is still a worthwhile way to spend some time. And if you're lucky enough to overhear a full, two-sided conversation between friends like I did, you might even walk away with the best recipe for Pasta Bolognese you've ever tried.